What’s the difference between a shopping mall fountain and a waterpark? For this guy, absolutely nothing.

A warm bath after a long day of work is all you need
byu/Ambitious-Aioli8950 inImTheMainCharacter

It appears that he strips down to just a swimsuit to dive straight into the cool, penny-filled waters of his local mall’s centerpiece fountain. After wading through the decorative jets and splashing his face with a palm-full of that sweet, sweet, over-chlorinated H20, the rogue swimmer decided to have a little fun, belly-flopping into the water below.

While the video cuts off before any Paul Blarts could tell him to get lost, several Redditors had questions about his stunt — namely, how did he not die of an obscure 17th century waterborne disease?

“On the bright side, now he has dysentery. Those fountains are filthy as fuck,” commented Dull_Ad8495. Meanwhile, tehdamonkey offered a possible glimpse into the man’s future: “He is going to poop so so good in about 4 hours from that water and the things that live in it....”

And although fun-bucket maintained that “THIS IS WHY MALLS ARE CLOSING!!!,” we’d argue that letting everyone splash around in the fountain is the very thing that will keep malls alive.